Friday, November 9th, 2007

To Date or Not to Date…A Carnivore

by Kristen Suzanne in vegan

This is a fun and interesting topic and here is my take. Yes, it’s okay to date a carnivorebecause it’s possible that he/she won’t be one forever. And whether they go Raw, well, the same logic follows. I remember back in my carnivore days I went on a date with a vegan. I didn’t even know what the term meant at the time. He took me to dinner and I thought to myself, “What the hell? You don’t eat meat? Are you serious? What-evaah!” Even though the guy was nice, I felt uncomfortable dating someone who didn’t eat meat. I wondered how we’d eat together if we were ever to make a more permanent relationship of it. Looking back, the date taught me a lot. I learned patience with the subject and I try to answer people’s questions about it, without ever getting defensive. It’s the only way people will learn. As it turns out, when I became a vegan I was single, and not surprisingly, I wanted everyone to give me a fair chance. Keep in mind the following:

  • People don’t know what they don’t know. Although nature designed me to be an herbivore, my parents didn’t know that. I grew up like many Americans…eating meat. I didn’t know any better UNTIL I began reading and learning on my own. I try not to judge others and remember that they probably just don’t know any better either (there was, after all, a time when I didn’t).
  • Even after enlightening people on the topic, not everyone is ready to make a switch over night. It could take months or even years. When I met my boyfriend, I was vegan (mostly Raw) and he ate meat. I didn’t mind. I knew he was a smart fellow (after all, he was dating me, right? Haha) He was cool with the fact that I wouldn’t make him meat dishes and happy that I made him fabulous vegan and Raw vegan foods. When we went to dinner, that was the time he ate meat and I was fine with that. He respected me and I respected him. He knew it was important to me, so he made an effort to learn more. He was curious and an open-minded skeptic. He asked hard questions that we looked into and both learned from it. After about 8 months, he read the book, The China Study, and one day just stopped eating meat… in fact, he went High Raw at the same time. So, keep in mind, it could take the time to read books, see movies or just staying up all night talking about it on multiple occasions. My advice is to “be there” for him/her and make as many resources available as he/she wants and needs. What would not have worked, however, is dating somebody who either didn’t respect my decision, or care enough — or was too closed-minded to try to understand. Humility means to remain teachable, and I believe it’s a quality you want in a partner for all things, not just dietary choices.
  • Make terrific recipes and show him/her how easy it can be. Get your carnivore mate involved by asking him/her to pick out recipes for you to make. (Hey, it works with kids, why not grown ups? haha) Get their opinion and help them feel involved. If you’re set on only dating a vegan/Raw vegan and you have no idea how to begin. Then, pay attention to proximity. Spend time in places where vegans and raw vegans go… vegan or vegan-friendly restaurants, pot lucks, health food stores, retreats, classes for vegan/Raw vegan food prep, yoga classes, gyms or health clubs, hiking clubs, etc. — in fact, university campuses in general! :) A great place to get started is through meetup.com. It’s a useful way to find local groups of people with similar interests doing fun activities.

Bottom line: If you meet a carnivore who is crazy about you, then that person will be excited to learn more and support you. Odds are in your favor, in my opinion, and they won’t be a carnivore forever.

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