Mom writes in with another one of her stories…
Weather in Arizona is mostly predictable. Sun… Sun… Sun.
While other areas of the country worry about snow storms, flooding, hurricanes or tornadoes, we have more sun.
BUT, we have monsoons.
Monsoons bring rain and wind usually in July and August. The day can be full of sun… and then at 4:00pm the clouds roll in… the wind starts… followed by rain, if we are lucky. We are in the desert so rain is appreciated.
Back in 2011, we had a situation.
The news alerted us that a 7000 foot dust wall, miles long, was rolling across Phoenix and surrounding cities! It was so dense you could not see one foot in front of you. It reminded me of an old movie called, “THE BLOB.” It was described as a massive event that native Arizonians had not seen in 30 years.
When I saw it on the news, I called my daughter immediately. She was about to go to Whole Foods.
I screeched, “Hell no you’re not going! A huge dust storm is heading your way. They’ve closed the airport. Don’t leave. Take cover.”
Only a mother in panic would yell. She went to her balcony and saw it rolling in the city. It was engulfing Camelback Mountain.
* image from the 13th floor
I called everyone I knew.
This BLOB was rolling in at 60-70 miles an hour, and would you believe that some people thought I was joking.
My reply to that was, “Turn on the news!!! Hurry!”
Ron, next door, is a ham radio operator with a huge antenna on his roof. The wind blows my direction so I had visions of his antenna blowing down on my house. I told him the details….
Ron replied, “Gosh Susan, I’m just wearing my underwear.”
“I don’t give a fuck if you are buck-naked. Go outside and lower your damn antenna!”
I called my friend Joan to warn her to not go out. She is in her 80′s. I think at that age… nothing phases you, and she had no intentions of doing anything. I think if her patio chair blew away, it would be no big deal, she would just go buy another one.
I called our friends, Chuck and Kay. They are in television limbo. Will it be Dish TV or cable or nothing? In any event, I had to warn them.
Chuck said,”Well, I guess Kay and I will just blow away.”
Maybe it’s an Oklahoma attitude. They’ve seen big wind in Oklahoma.
My daughter called and said,”Don’t forget Marsha’s pool umbrella. It needs to be put next to the house.” She was right. I have to get my neighbor’s umbrella to safety because she’s not home for the summer. I started to worry.
It was dark outside, the wind was picking up. My husband, Lynn, was sitting in his chair watching television, eating his barbecue chips. If the wind took the roof off our house… he would still be sitting there eating.
I said to him, “Get the flashlight, we have to take Marsha’s umbrella down.”
“Why,” he asked.
“Because the wind storm is coming. Haven’t you been listening to me?”
“Oh, her umbrella will be fine.” He is so fucking lazy, I thought.
“Get your ass up, get the flashlight. If that umbrella blows down the golf course you are buying her another one.” Money motivates him. He immediately put down the damn chip bag.
After we got back, I called a few more neighbors, and probably scared them. It’s on channels 10 and 12. It’s coming…It’s coming…. put all your patio furniture against the house. I’m sure I made other people panic.
Once you get other people thinking like you…you form a bond. I’m sure they thought to themselves, “Susan is a thoughtful neighbor. She is irreplaceable.”
People on the east side of town experienced the worst. The expressway had warning signs that said visibility is dangerously low. Winds are 70 miles per hour. The wind bringing The BLOB was heading toward the west valley where I live.
We were all biting our fingernails in anticipation, but at least I had warned everyone.
image from YouTube
But get this…
It fizzled out and never made it to my neighborhood.
You read that right.
After I scared the crap out of my neighbors… after everyone ran outside to move patio furniture to safety… after Ron lowered his antenna in his Jockey shorts… the 7000 foot dust BLOB never came.
I have told Kristen many times… IT’S HARD LIVING IN THIS BODY!
I vowed to calm down and hoped my neighbors had a sense of humor.