Let’s Talk About Love
In the past four blog posts about my journey to becoming a Happy Sexy Millionaire, I shared the details of when I decided to become a millionaire, what I learned during my breakdown and breakthrough, what “Happy Sexy Millionaire” means to me, and the science behind the magic of becoming a Happy Sexy Millionaire.
Today, I’m sharing how loving myself became an integral part of the story.
Being a Happy Sexy Millionaire: The 3-Part Formula
One part is loving yourself, which we’ll discuss today.
The second part is meditation to reprogram your brain while also attracting your awesome destiny. I’ve touched upon this in earlier posts, but there’s more important stuff to come.
The third part is living this magnificent life “off the couch” — in other words, when you’re not meditating. Becoming a Happy Sexy Millionaire is not something you can tap into a few minutes a day, walk away from, and expect transformation. There are important things to do when you’re not meditating. Throughout the day, when you’re living your normal life.
Happy Sexy Millionaire Is a Lifestyle
Using this formula, you’ll become someone new. The formula’s presence infuses you day and night. I aim to lay it all out, post by post, how I’m living my Happy Sexy Millionaire Life, and what I learn along the way, the mistakes (growth) and the triumphs.
What Are Your Dreams?
Think of the greatest life you can imagine… What would you like to do? What would it be great to have? How would you live? Would it have Happiness? Sexiness? Millionaireness? Yeah… think about it — ooohhhh so good! All the things you want… within reach… just reach out to grab them… almost there…
Well, guess what? Turns out, in order to have all those things you want, you first need to love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, then deep down, you won’t think you’re worthy of having the life of your dreams, and you’ll subconsciously sabotage your progress, or simply quit.
I’m talking big love, too. The unconditional stuff.
Your love for yourself is important because what we think about ourselves becomes our “truth.” Our truth becomes our life.
Your destiny, your health, your life… everything is tied to the simple thoughts you think about yourself, both consciously and unconsciously. It’s your Self-Talk. How we feel about ourselves is the driving force behind the most simple fact of whether we have a good day, a ho-hum day, or a shitty day. Loving Self-Talk, and loving yourself, creates the saucy environment that bathes you in the juice of manifestation, all the way down to your cells.
How you feel right now is the result of how much you loved yourself yesterday, and last week, and last month. That also means that, excitingly, loving yourself right now makes the rest of your day, and tomorrow, better. Loving yourself puts a sparkle in your eye. Loving yourself attracts other loving people to you. Your life will take on new meaning with the simple act of loving yourself. It will start the moment you say “I love you” — to yourself.
It will be weird for some people.
It will be playful for others.
But for some, it will be hard. If this is you, don’t worry. Today, we’re going to make it super easy. We have ways to fast-track you to loving yourself.
Start Here: Lovin’ Yo’ Self
I love and adore My Happy Sexy Millionaire Self. OH — that feels good to say out loud. No shyness here.
The reason to love yourself is because you can’t manifest your dreams if you don’t. Seriously. So, while it might seem superficial, it’s actually really deep. It’s the foundation of the whole thing. When you love yourself, everything else you do is way more effective.
Manifestations happen faster because loving yourself dramatically helps make your dreams come true.
“You loving you” is like pouring oil on the track where your manifestations are rolling toward you. It’s the wind beneath your wings. It’s the magic in your magic carpet ride. Even more importantly, though, is that when you love yourself, you feel golden and resilient. Like, better than anything else. So while you work on attracting your manifestations and dreams, you feel wonderful and complete during the process. That’s worth the price of admission right there.
But, Wait. There’s More!
Loving yourself is a key ingredient to the Happy Sexy Millionaire recipe, because you can’t attract abundance unless you feel abundant. Loving yourself creates the state and feeling you need to be in to attract all those things you want. It’s the foundation beneath the building you’re going to build.
Besides! The reality is that You Are With You for the rest of your life. You might as well love yourself since you spend ALL of your time with you.
So without further ado… how in the fuck do we fall in love with ourselves, cuz y’all know most of us don’t!
Say “I LOVE YOU!” to You. Out loud. Yes, Really.
Loving yourself starts simply by saying, “I love you.” Yep, that simple.
Well, okay, it might be necessary to repeat it 25 times, but the script is a piece of cake to remember.
For example, here’s me loving myself today, “I love you, Kristen, I reeeeeeaaaallly love you! I love you. I love love love you. I loooooooooove you!”
It seems so simple, even silly, but the funny thing? It works!
Did you do it yet for yourself using your own name? If not, stop reading, close your eyes, and say it seriously to yourself, out loud, just once. Then, resume reading.
Okay, now that you’ve said it, how was it? Was it easy? Weird? Harder than hell?
If you had a hard time doing it… like, a really hard time (some people burst into tears), don’t worry. I’m going to walk you through the process, step by step. You’ll be loving yourself in no time! Even if the exercise above was extremely difficult, we’re going to work through that… and have fun in the process!
But first, if you feel any resistance, it’s helpful to understand where it’s coming from. There are several possible sources of resistance:
Resistance #1: I Actually Don’t Love Myself. Aren’t I Just Lying to Myself?
If you don’t feel it’s authentic and that you don’t love yourself, it’s not your fault. You were never taught what it meant to truly love yourself. It’s possible that you weren’t loved the way you deserved as a child, and so you didn’t know how deep it could and should go. We’ll dive into that a bit more, but, for now, know that it’s understandable to have this resistance. It’s common and we’ll fix it.
You’re not lying to yourself necessarily, either. You just haven’t learned how to not judge yourself, or you actually would love yourself. We just have to show you how to remove that veil. Over time, you’ll see, that loving yourself is easy, fluid, and addictive. For now, the good ol’ “fake it til ya make it” will do wonders. So keep repeating it. There is firing and wiring self-love going on. Even if you don’t believe it just yet, you will soon.
Resistance #2: Isn’t Loving Myself Narcissism? An Out-of-Control Ego?
I admit that, at first, I wondered if telling myself “I love you” all the time would create an out of control ego in me, but that’s just not what happens. When you love yourself, you stop judging yourself, and that’s the opposite of having an ego.
Consider this truth: Narcissists — and anybody with an out-sized ego — NEVER love themselves. It is an act, a lie they tell themselves to ease their suffering. Their behavior is ALWAYS compensating for the exact opposite: self-loathing.
When you stop judging yourself, you just naturally stop judging others, because you no longer seek to validate yourself by feeling superior to others. That’s definitely not ego-driven behavior. Loving yourself actually infuses compassion, for yourself and others, in your veins and soul, and that’s a beautiful thing. If more people loved themselves, we’d have more compassion in the world, not selfish ego-driven behavior.
But Kristen, Isn’t it Selfish to Love Ourselves? Shouldn’t I Be Busy Loving Others?
Here’s the counter-intuitive truth: To do a good job loving others, not only do you need to love yourself, but you have to love yourself FIRST.
Why Loving Yourself Is Vital Before Loving Others — It’s Your Oxygen Mask
Loving yourself is not selfish. In fact, it’s the opposite! If you don’t love yourself, you can’t fully love others, including even your children. Mind-blowing, right?
And this is why you must love yourself FIRST.
It’s like putting on your own oxygen mask first. You know, on airplanes, when they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first, before helping someone else, even your child?!
It makes perfect sense, but I admit it’s hard to swallow. We want our offspring to survive, and that makes us inclined to help them first. But that’s the kicker. If you’re unconscious, it’s a lot harder to make that happen. You can’t help others unless you’ve helped yourself. If you’re putting your child’s oxygen mask on first, and you pass out while doing it, you both die. If you do your own mask first, even if your child passes out, he or she will be revived once you’ve put the mask on them. When you take care of yourself first, you both live.
If you don’t love yourself, you can’t properly be there for your family. You come to the table half-assed. You’re tired, weak, and frazzled so you can’t be there for your kids the way they deserve. Heck, maybe you’re just neutral, which is just… boring. No enthusiasm. Or, if you’re in a romantic relationship, you can’t connect with your mate when you’re headachy, stressed-out, and always seeing your cup as half-empty.
If you don’t love yourself, you won’t properly care for yourself. This makes you more likely to get sick, lose energy, and just feel blah. You can’t be an awesome parent or spouse like this. I know from my own experience that, before I started my love affair with myself, I showed up each day less patient and more short-tempered. I complained more. I whined more. I was annoyed by minor things. This not only presented a bad example for my daughter, but when she asked for help, I was distracted and less able to give her the attention she deserved.
You have to love yourself first before you can love someone else. We’ve all heard that bit of women’s magazine wisdom a hundred times. But, how many of us actually take it to heart? Clearly, many people do not, as there are many people who do not love themselves, yet they are doing the best they can in their relationships. It’s nice in theory. I was one who preached it, but didn’t follow it, because, frankly, I didn’t know what it really meant to love myself. And even if I had known, I wouldn’t have known how to do it.
I’m going to tell you! It’s surprisingly simple!
Why Don’t More People Love Themselves?
I can tell you exactly why. We never learned HOW to love ourselves. We didn’t know that we are actually, truly, supposed to love ourselves first. If we had been born with a user’s guide, it would have clearly stated in chapter one: Love Yourself.
We didn’t understand that it’s a key to all the happiness we could ever want. A happiness no money can ever buy. Loving yourself is medicine for your soul. It’s freedom. It’s healing. It’s resilience and courage in the face of anything. It’s part of the magic sauce, the pixie-dust, that dissolves problems.
Instead of being taught to love ourselves, we defaulted to our ancient, survival-based insecurities. The scarcity mindset. Fear. Anxiety. I’ve known multi-millionaires who are wracked with fear that they will lose their fortunes. In this prison of the mind, no amount of money is ever enough.
This survival-mode thinking leads to a lifestyle that lacks joy and abundance. And then we look at ourselves, or our situation, and we see this lacking as evidence that we shouldn’t feel worthy. People feel too fat, too poor, too weak, too lazy, too empty, too tired, or unsuccessful in romance, career, or as a parent. It becomes a feedback loop, in which self-doubt becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But they’re looking at it exactly backwards. The lack of self-love causes the lacking in their life, not the other way around. Fix the self-love part, and the fulfillment in life will start to fix itself automatically. In fact, it will create the life of your wildest dreams!
Ego Is Not Truly Loving Yourself
There was a time when I thought I loved myself. But, when I look back on it, I didn’t love myself the way I was supposed to. It wasn’t nearly as much as I do now. Turns out, there’s an easy way to know if you don’t love yourself: You constantly compare yourself to others.
There are two varieties of this:
~ You usually think you’re better than others (see Narcissism, above). Or,
~ You think everyone else is better than you.
Both are versions of low self-esteem. When you have good self-esteem, both kinds of comparison simply stop, because you no longer seek validation. You love yourself just the way you are, the strengths and weaknesses.
(I’m not speaking of the comparisons that come from occasional benchmarking for strategic reasons — such as trying to decide if you should ask for a raise, or how much salary to seek at a new job. I’m talking about compulsive, habitual comparisons that make you feel good or bad about yourself.)
Judging Others :(
I knew I didn’t love myself as much as I could, because I judged people. I’m not talking harsh, finger-pointing judgments because of people’s economic status, politics, etc. No, I’d make these petty little judgments, call them micro-judgments. A kind of comparing that effectively showed me where I stood in various things. Like noticing that the person in the checkout line in front of me was buying unhealthy food, and thinking, “Yikes, she feeds her kids that.” It doesn’t even matter if I was correct… the behavior was wrong. It’s none of my goddamn business.
Judging others is one of the ego’s biggest defense mechanisms. It reflected on me how I viewed myself. Most of us are guilty of it to some degree (and judging is sometimes necessary, such as when deciding whether somebody is trustworthy or not), but I realized one day that it was a telltale sign of not really loving myself.
Again, when you love yourself, you don’t compare yourself to others and frankly you don’t get wrapped up in comparison-itis bullshit. (Lookin’ at YOU, Instagram!)
When people judge, they are looking outside of themselves to feel secure or good or right. And when we love ourselves, we don’t look outside ourselves for confirmation because we feel it already, within.
The challenge was that I didn’t know how to fix this. I know now though!
Love Thyself Unconditionally
Now that I’ve taken my self-love to new heights, I can see the difference between how I love myself now versus years ago. I wouldn’t dream of judging myself harshly or negatively now, because I love myself unconditionally. And that means the obvious… in other words, I have no conditions on myself in order to love myself. I love myself as I am today, here and now.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean you get lazy and never strive for healthier or better choices. It doesn’t mean settling for less than your best. It’s the opposite! When you love yourself unconditionally, you are more vested in living your best life possible. You want to treat yourself wonderfully, as well as everyone around you. You want to take care of your body. You are so in love with yourself, and your life, that you want to live to be 180 years old.
Loving yourself also means being gentle and caring toward yourself through transitions and changes. I might want to improve some things about myself, but, most importantly, is that I love myself through the whole process. Loving myself is why I want to be my best me. Because I’m worth it!
I’m embarrassed that I didn’t know about any of this long ago. But I was never taught what loving myself really meant or how to do it.
Why aren’t we taught this? Where did I get my misguided programming?
We Learn About Love From Our Parents
Our parents play a crucial role in helping us understand love, and it’s based on how they love themselves, which was taught to them by their parents.
Sadly, I have family members who don’t love themselves, and, as a result, they didn’t love me to the fullest they could. They weren’t good role models. Even more, I know I’m being judged by them. It’s just the way it is. But, you see, I now have compassion for them. I know they just don’t love themselves enough or they wouldn’t hold me to ridiculous, make-believe standards.
My dad left my family when we were very young, and he didn’t do a good job of showing love before or after he left. But you know what I know now? He also didn’t love himself as much as he could’ve, and I totally know where he got that — from his parents. So you see? It trickles down through the generations, until someone breaks the pattern. There simply are not enough households gushing with awesome-in-love-with-yourself vibes.
It was only when I learned to truly love myself that I broke free of the chains holding me back. I find myself crying as I write this because I love myself so much, and I mourn that it took me so long to do that. I’m grateful though; better now than never. It’s freed me of a prison that I put myself in. When you make it okay to be yourself, then you automatically allow others to be themselves. Once we stop criticizing ourselves, it is beautiful how we stop criticizing other people.
If you don’t truly love yourself, you can’t love another the way they deserve to be loved. We can’t have compassion for others, including our children, family, and friends, if we can’t treat ourselves kindly first.
Parenting By Example — Loving Yourself So Your Child Loves Her/Himself.
Do this exercise… Think of someone you love… then ask yourself, “How would I feel if they said they didn’t love themselves?”
OMFG! GASP! You’d be in their face preaching how they should love themselves. You’d emphatically tell them how lovable they are. Cuz, Crazy, right??
Well, flip that around on you. It’s the same exact thing. Just as your daughter, son, husband, or wife should love him/herself, SO SHOULD YOU!
Imagine teaching your children to love themselves, and how that would influence the way they grow up. Imagine the expansive life they can have when they’re confident, happy, and whole. You might think your children love themselves, but they probably aren’t loving themselves as much as they could, if you’re not loving yourself.
My daughter started loving herself more when I started loving myself more. I expected her to love herself, because of course she’s worthy! She’s a child! But how can she understand what it’s like to love herself if I’m not setting the example?
There Is No Waiting to Do This.
Do not wait to be perfect before you can love yourself. Don’t wait for anything, start loving yourself now.
What is perfection anyway? We are always all changing, and there will always be something, some excuse. There is no, “I’ll love my self when…”
Don’t wait to love yourself when you lose 50 pounds (or 10, or any weight), because loving yourself is important for losing the weight. You don’t wait to love yourself until after you accomplish more or have more success, because the success will come more effortlessly after the self-love.
Challenges will come up. That’s normal, it’s called “life.”
Secret: Loving ourselves through life’s challenges is the bulletproof vest. It makes things bounce off you, and gives you the flexibility to bob and weave, the strength to get up again and keep going. For example, as an author, loving myself keeps me uplifted in spite of book reviews! Do you know how easy it can be to feel bad about yourself when someone criticizes your work? It can be a slippery slope into darkness. But when you love yourself, you don’t mind people’s opinions. You’re protected from them, and it’s easier to sift through comments to glean any important feedback that might help you improve.
Love Is the Foundation
The relationship we have with our own self is the foundation for everything. Do you see what I mean? It allows everything else to get built strong and stay strong… your relationships, health, career, and life experiences.
Like the foundation of a house. Would you knowingly buy a house with a bad foundation? One that’s crumbling or made from inferior materials? Of course not. You know that anything you put on top of a weak foundation will collapse. If not immediately, then eventually. Cracks will appear first, then they get bigger, until eventually other parts of the house come down in a crash of misery.
The life you want can only be strong and successful and shimmering-shiny gold with a fabulous and effective foundation and materials. Do you want a life filled with success, magic, smiling, strength, love, and resilience? It requires loving yourself as the core.
Resilience and Courage Are Sexy!
Loving yourself means you’ll be more brave and take more risks. People who love themselves are more confident, courageous, happy, and more successful. We’re not afraid to fail because we are full of love and creativity. We bounce back like one of those punchy Bobo clowns. We soar with strength.
And it all starts with the very simple act of loving ourselves.
I like what Anita Moorjani says…
Love yourself as if your life depends on it, because it does.Anita Moorjani
EASY Ways to Love Yourself NOW: Self-Talk Mirror Magic
Now that we understand why loving ourselves is critical, and how awesome our lives can be when we do it, let’s discover how it’s done.
On my journey to becoming a Happy Sexy Millionaire, reprogramming my subconscious with positive Self-Talk and meditation helped to create a state of feeling more worthy. That’s great! But, there’s one thing in particular that fast-tracked my self-love, in literally three days.
It’s called Mirror Work, by Louise Hay, but I call it Self-Talk Mirror Magic, because it feels like magic. It makes a radical difference in your life and really fast.
What is Self-Talk Mirror Magic? You might laugh because it’s so simple.
Self-Talk Mirror Magic is actually just standing in front of a mirror, seeing your reflection, looking straight into your own eyes, and talking to yourself, saying “I love you.” Repeat it many, many times, like 10 – 20. Or 100 if necessary. I’m serious. The more, the better, to reprogram your mind faster.
So … like… weird? Silly? Uncomfortable?
Yeah, only because no one ever taught us this before!
But you know what? Turns out, it’s awesome!
And, it’s friggin’ super effective!
And, like I said, it’s the fast-track to loving yourself. Any discomfort will quickly disappear. Trust me.
However, if you really have resistance to this, here’s a suggestion for starting out. You could use an alternate “gateway” statement that can make the transition into loving yourself easier. Say, “I’m looking forward to loving myself more.” Try that on and see how it feels.
The mirror is what makes this so crazy effective… it’s the “magic.” Your words carry tremendous power and when you look at yourself while saying your words of love, the words are extra potent. They pack a wallop on your subconscious, making things manifest super fast. It’s like giving the words a Disney FastPass into your brain and heart. No need to wait long for them to take effect.
Therefore, you might imagine that it’s better to do this as much, and as often, as possible.
You’d be right.
This means every morning in the bathroom you say words of love to yourself. Every time you look at yourself in the rear-view mirror of your car, you blow a kiss or wink at yourself. Every time you pass your reflection in a window or TV screen, yup, you guessed it, words of love leave your lips.
You know another great place to do this? The gym! Mirrors everywhere, and yeah, I do it. It doesn’t have to be a big affair in public, just a simple little acknowledgment to yourself that you love you.
Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.Thich Nhat Hanh
The Ultimate Test… My Mom
My whole life has been one big series of self-experiments. So much so, that I wasn’t sure a magical mirror transformation would work on everybody. So I put the technique to the ultimate torture test: My mom.
My mother acquired some very bad Self-Talk from her mom. I could go on about it, but suffice it to say, she did not love herself. As a result, she has always been very unhappy and stressed out, despite living a lifestyle of comfort and leisure that many people only dream about.
Well, I somehow managed to talk my mom into trying Self-Talk Mirror Magic. At first, she didn’t like it at all… she felt undeserving, and every word was an internal struggle, with emotions ranging from mere disbelief in what she was saying, to contempt.
But she’s a spirited, sometimes stubborn woman, and in this case, the stubbornness paid off. She committed to stick to it, no matter how silly or incongruous she felt while doing it. In fact, she promised me she’d do it every day. It helped that she loves to support my explorations, and I told her this was an experiment — FOR SCIENCE — for research I was doing. I also bought her Louise’s book, which she read, and so she had some theoretical grounding in the process and, at some level, believed something good might come of it.
The Results… (drum roll……..)
My mother experienced a life-changing transformation within ONE week!
She experienced WAY less stress, lost seven pounds, laughed more, increased her happiness and excitement for life, and she had more energy.
It changed her outlook socially, too. She looked around and saw more clearly the friends who were bringing down her new high-vibe. It made her realize these same “downer” people had been doing so for years. But because she hadn’t loved herself enough to see it and feel it for what it was, she kept spending time around them.
Armed with this new knowledge, her first inclination was to cut these negative folks out of her life, and I supported that. But then something really amazing happened. Her own self-love started to get so strong (she kept doing her Self-Talk Mirror Magic, religiously, every day), that rather than act defensively, she began to feel compassion for her friends who, in fact, lacked self-love of their own. Or one of them in particular, she realized, might be becoming difficult to be around due to the early stages of Alzheimer’s. This gave her a whole new understanding of the situation, and filled her with love and compassion for her friends.
Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.James Baldwin
Here’s Exactly How I Use Self-Talk Mirror Magic
First thing in the morning!
When I wake up, even while still in bed, I acknowledge myself and say hello to me. I then get up, go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I look deeply into my eyes. I stare for like five seconds. While smiling at myself. Then, I say, “Good morning Kristen. I really really love you and we’re going to have an awesome day!” Then, I give different parts of my body extra love. “I love you thighs, tummy, ass, face, and hair.” :)
There’s not much more to it than that. Every time I’m in the bathroom I tell myself that I love myself. I really emphasize it. My favorite thing to do is blow kisses to myself. It took a few days, but then it really started to sink in. For some people, it might take longer, maybe a week or two, but it does eventually start to rewire your brain.
Sometimes I add in some other Self-Talk, but the idea is the same. I compliment myself over and over again. On and on and on. Then, I go about my day, feeling skippy, happy, confident, and worthy.
I was inspired to follow Louise Hay’s Mirror Work after seeing her on a video recording with Cheryl Richardson talking about it. Cheryl was telling the story of how Louise was always emphasizing how important Mirror Work was, that even when they were on Oprah one time, it’s all Louise would say. Every time Oprah would ask Louise something about personal development, Louise responded with “loving yourself and mirror work.”
At this, Cheryl decided to take it seriously. She figured that if Louise was willing to sound like a broken record on The Oprah Show, then it must be important. Then, in the video I was watching, Cheryl went on to describe her own personal experiences with Mirror Work after she tried it.
She felt a bit silly at first, and a bit critical (crows feet, nose hairs, etc.). She wondered if she believed herself when she said those loving things to herself. She stuck with it though. And after a few weeks, she found she was gentler on herself as she started to really love herself more. It worked.
Hearing Cheryl’s story and seeing how emphatic Louise was about Mirror Work (and Louise was clearly cute and benefiting tremendously from her Mirror Work), I decided to try it myself. I bought her book and started loving myself that very day.
Boom. Drop the mic. My life shifted, and honestly, I was shocked at how much. I had no idea loving myself would feel this way.
Children Self-Talk Mirror Magic
Equally as exciting is how my nine-year-old daughter responded.
When I was learning and doing my Self-Talk Mirror Magic, I did it out loud in front of her as well. It was important that she witness me doing it. She thought I was being very weird. But I told her how important it is, and I told her to give it a try. She felt silly the first time, but played along to humor me. The next morning, I encouraged her to go do it by herself in the bathroom. And the next day, too.
Then, something awesome happened.
A few days later, I was at the gym and Kamea was at home. Of her own volition, she sent me a bitmoji she created of her standing in front of a mirror with the words “Today is gonna be GREAT!”
Then, later that day, she sent me another bitmoji of her avatar surrounded by hearts that says “I love myself.”
Game over — checkmate.
Fast forward… after my daughter had been doing this for a few weeks. She said, “Mom, I’m getting the hang of this. I just told myself that I loved myself and then I looked at myself in the mirror and said, ‘Some day I’m going to have a million subscribers to my YouTube channel. I’m so excited!”
How freakin’ awesome is that? Her confidence is boosted and she’s opening up to big potential. She’s thinking big and feeling worthy!
Loving Yourself: You Are in the Perfect Place to Start Right Now. In This Moment.
Here’s the truth of the universe, the truth of life: You get what you give. It’s very simple… what you give out with your thoughts and feelings creates the experience that you get back. Every thought and feeling creates your present and your future.
That is why loving myself is the first step to becoming a Happy Sexy Millionaire. The same goes for you.
I’m talking full-on, balls-to-the-wall, crazy love affair with yourself. You will give out a feeling of abundance and gratitude and it will come back to you. Not only does it change who you are, it becomes a shining example for other people to copy. When you shine your light, it helps light the path for others, who then begin to shine their own light.
When we really love ourselves, exactly the way we are today, in the moment, right now, everything in life begins to flow. You will see little miracles start happening everywhere, like sprinklings of pixie dust. You attract more goodness and a shit-ton more abundance. Your health even improves. All from just loving yourself the way you are today.
When you start to love yourself now, the weight that you want to lose will start to come off you, “released” by your subconscious. When you feel worthy, you have confidence and speak up for yourself. You can ask for that new job or for that raise. Because it’s so simple… you feel worthy of it. You’re not scared. You’re confident.
You smile at the stranger you’re attracted to. You connect to others with the bright light that emanates from you. With loving yourself and feeling worthy comes confidence, a beautiful radiant light, that guides your life to new heights. When you love yourself today, you’ll immediately start attracting more opportunities and better relationships tomorrow.
With love and worthiness also comes wholeness. When we love ourselves, we begin to heal from the inside out. Aches and pains start to go away. We feel confident about our life, and as a result, we feel whole. We feel confident about the ability of our own bodies to heal by themselves.
When you love yourself, new opportunities become available to you. You’ll start to feel like taking more chances and experimenting more. You’ll make better decisions. From fitness, to food, to spending money, to investing, to goals, to strategies for creating your dream life.
But, you have to love yourself now. Trust me, it works. I promise.
So What Does This Mean Today?
What does this mean for our lives right now? What does this mean for you?
For starters, this means you never criticize yourself. And you never criticize others. You don’t even joke about others in any way that’s not uplifting.
When you’re squeezing into a pair jeans there are no thoughts of Oh if only I lost a few pounds. Or when you’re looking in the mirror while you’re brushing your teeth, there are no thoughts about crows feet, pimples, or cold sores. Every day is a good hair day!
If one of those thoughts even begins to creep up, then you squash it like the bug it is. Immediately say something positive and uplifting about yourself. Even the three simple words “I love you” to yourself. Over and over like a mantra. It doesn’t matter if you don’t totally feel it in the moment, I promise it will come.
Loving Yourself All Day
We get busy with life, and we start doing things. Sometimes we start out strong in the morning and we’re full of love for ourselves. Then, sometimes life happens and there’s a circumstance that tickles you with anxiety or frustration or self-doubt. Our goal is to keep the “I love my self” program running all day long.
With practice and repetition, this mantra will become your default. But you have to do the work — the repetition. Gear yourself for that… be prepared to dive into this, take it seriously, and make it a priority. With enough practice, I programmed my mind such that, whenever my mood starts to dip, I simply say “I love you, Kristen.” Short and sweet, under my breath if necessary, and I start to feel better. It has become reflexive. It’s no longer work, it’s become a great habit.
Also, every time I go to the bathroom, I look in the mirror and it’s another opportunity to maintain my high-vibe by doing Self-Talk Mirror Magic. “Hi, Kristen, we’re having a great day. I love you so much.” Like I said before, I’ll even wink at myself or blow a kiss. If you prefer, give yourself a fist bump in the mirror. Yep, it feels corny at first, but only for the first couple of times. Then, you start to feel a little pride and excitement at loving yourself, and then it’s just flat out the new you. All love. The more you repeat your loving words for yourself and others, you will reprogram your subconscious mind. Then, it’s freedom-time(!), because you will feel so free.
At night, when you’re getting ready for bed and you’re in the bathroom, tell yourself a little loving bed-time story. If your day wasn’t everything you wanted, say “It’s OK, no worries, I love you and tomorrow is a new day.” If your day was awesome, say, “Yay, we had a great day. I love you and there’s more of that coming tomorrow. I’m so excited!”
Then, when you’re lying in bed at night, getting ready to sleep, it’s the perfect time to reprogram your subconscious. As you fall asleep, simply repeat over and over, “I love you” like a little mantra, a prayer, a moment just for you.
We can start now.
Stand in your own power, fresh, right now, and choose to believe better. This will create your better tomorrow. Your subconscious mind will reprogram over time. Don’t give up, and keep repeating your new thought patterns of love for yourself. Just repeat your loving affirmations over and over again.
You deserve it. We all do.
The Happy Sexy Millionaire Series
Post 5: Becoming a Happy Sexy Millionaire – Step 1: Loving Yourself (You are here now)
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- My Daughter’s “Selfie-Talk” Mirror Magic
- The Word “Should” Just Makes You Feel Like Sh*t — Eliminate It From Your Vocabulary