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Kristen Helmstetter

(Brisa Starr)

New Release! Coffee Self-Talk for DUDES!

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Coffee Self-Talk for Dudes – live your legendary life!

It’s here!

Coffee Self-Talk for DUDES!

Why for Dudes?

In August of 2020, I published the book, Coffee Self-Talk, that soon
became a bestseller across much of the English-speaking world. The
book described a simple process for creating a five-minute morning
ritual of speaking to yourself in positive affirmations while drinking
your morning coffee (or other beverage).

Over time, this simple act reprograms your brain, changing your attitude, beliefs, actions, and ultimately, your life. Many readers even reported feeling a change in their mood or outlook with their very first cup of coffee.

Almost immediately, I began to receive emails from readers telling
me their stories about how their daily Coffee Self-Talk ritual had
affected their lives. Boosting their spirits during COVID, improving
their marriages, giving them the courage to ask for a promotion, or
finding a new direction in life.

One of the most common questions
was, will it work for men?

Nowhere in Coffee Self-Talk did I say that the process was designed for
women. It’s not. Self-talk will work for anybody men, women, even
kids.

That said, the book was written by a woman (me), with women in
mind, as though I were talking to a friend. The examples I provided
were from my own life. Many would say the prose was feminine, with
words like shimmer, sparkle, glitter, and so on.

Also, hearts. Lots of hearts on the cover. Pastel hearts, even. And a
picture of girl drinking coffee.

As questions about applying the book to men began to accumulate in
my in-box, and feedback about couples doing the program together,
it became clear to me that there was a need for this book’s information
presented in a way that is more oriented for men.

Coffee Self-Talk for Dudes is the result.

This book is perhaps 95% identical to the original Coffee Self-Talk
book. I have edited certain lines and examples to be more gender-neutral
or masculine, or simply more relevant to men.

It wasn’t always clear what should be changed. I tried to avoid dumb
stereotypes, and besides, some women can get just as excited as men
about explosive imagery, power tools, beer, and uber strong
muscles. Myself included! I myself am a former competitive bodybuilder.

And men can be moved by natural beauty, sparkling, shiny things, and magic carpet rides.

But just to be safe, I enlisted the assistance of my husband, who
has also edited this book to ensure a proper degree of dude-worthiness.

In fact, I had such a good time editing the original Coffee Self-Talk book for this Dudes version. It fired me up just as much – I love them both.

Each book is great no matter your gender. But the reality is that some people resonate better with different language and I can appreciate that. So, here it is!

My self-talk ritual CONTINUES to give me the most magical, legendary life of love, joy, bliss, and so much success, and I’m shouting it from the rooftops.

I’m living proof of its power, and my inbox is filled DAILY with others sharing their successes after reading Coffee Self-Talk.

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Happy Sexy Millionaire Update

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Coffee Self-Talk book

Hello, everybody!

It’s time for an update on my Happy Sexy Millionaire life. (If you’re unfamiliar with my Happy Sexy Millionaire journey I’ve written about, start here.)

Everything is going beautifully and wonderful and fantastic. My book, Coffee Self-Talk, is going gangbusters, and I’m excited and honored by all of the wonderful feedback and stories about how people’s lives are changing.

Coffee Self-Talk™

Yep, TM. We have a lot of things in store for Coffee Self-Talk, and I’m excited to share those things as soon as they are ready. Stay tuned!

Coffee Self-Talk is an integral part of living my Happy Sexy Millionaire life. It helps me keep my mindset elevated and empowered and my self-esteem boosted.

It helps me maintain my happiness as I dance through life and surf its waves. 

Surf Those Waves!

And surfing them with ease is a critical part to the “happy” part of the Happy Sexy Millionaire equation. In fact, the reason I put the word happy first is because, when you are happy, then you’re feeling elevated emotions. And when you’re feeling elevated emotions, you’re putting out energy to attract more juicy awesomeness into your life.

The happier I am, the more my magical dream life is attracted right back to me. I’m living proof that my happiness, and doing things like Coffee Self-Talk, and self-love, et cetera, are foundational to my high vibe that is my norm. My default.

My uplifted energy feels so goooooood and it helps me manifest my dreams faster because more opportunities come my way, I see more connections, and heck… the journey just feels much better, right? I’d much rather be happy while working on goals than not.

Basically, happiness also reduces stress, which increases creativity. It makes more room in my head for neat new projects I’d never thought of, and more inspired business opportunities, which is another powerful way that high vibe emotions help me live my most magical life.

Happiness helps me feel sexy, and happiness helps me become a millionaire. I talked before about what “millionaire” means to me and how it’s a state of mind, and how owning my time makes me feel like I live a life of abundance. Working from home in my leggings and traveling the world does, too. Waking up when I want. Taking naps. Walking when the sun comes out. For me, these things make me feel free and wealthy, no matter what my bank account says…

But I’m still going to make and attract a lot of money, too. :)

Life Changes, and I Dance

Dancing through life

So for those of you who have followed my blog, you’ve read about my joy and bliss living in Italy.

Well, I have an update.

We are returning to the United States. For a bit. 

Life’s flow has put us on an unexpected new trajectory, a very exciting one, that will soon land us back in the U.S. for a while. I can’t go into the details yet, but certain business opportunities make more sense being based in the states.

We will be returning to Italy, however. We plan to spend a few months of every year here going forward.

I love our existence here in Umbria, and I’ve really settled into a lovely la dolce vita groove, and we were super excited to really start exploring everything Italy has to offer, once COVID is tamed.

But I will simply take my la dolce vita happiness with me, and we are excited about the opportunities that have been presented as a result of new doors that have opened. You never know when it’ll happen, or how, and you just need to be flexible if you’re going to pounce when opportunities present themselves.

Different? Yes.

Sad? No.

The realization that we would be leaving Italy required a mental adjustment. It was unexpected. But at no point did my spirits dip. I didn’t get sad about leaving this country that I love so much. Instead, I just opened all of my senses and awareness that much more, to soak up as much as I can before we leave. It has helped me be more fully present and grateful.

Sure, this change of plans is disruptive, and it requires much preparation. Many changes will occur. But I never once minded. I’m excited about whatever the Universe has in store for me!

It rarely gets revealed all at once. New glimpses open up constantly.

Other people reacted differently. They thought I would be upset. Or at least stressed. But I’m relaxed. I know this was meant to be, and great things will come as a result. They always do. I never got sad or upset. The one thing that stayed constant was my happiness.

Unconditional Happiness

A hundred things got dumped onto our to-do list the day we made the decision. Booking flights, selling stuff, ending our lease, getting health insurance… not to mention the new to-do items related to my business. It could have put anyone into a tailspin.

But you know what?

I was happier than ever.

You see, I made a goal on New Year’s that I would live my life with Unconditional Happiness. Literally unconditional. Meaning I’m happy, no matter what. I told myself, I want to flow and dance through life where the conditions of it don’t effect my happiness. 

Prior to making that resolution, I was happy most of the time. I was Tao when life was up and down. I looked for, and always found, silver linings. I trained my brain to do this. I fired and wired that M.O. It became automatic. Effortless.

But I wondered if I could take that idea to the next level. I still had room to improve.

That’s when the idea of unconditional happiness took root. That happiness, every single day, is a decision.

And then a habit.

And that’s the headspace I’ve lived in since New Year’s. It was working. So when I learned we’d be leaving Italy, I said, “My happiness isn’t based on the condition of living in Italy.”

And it’s true.

I’ve even maintained happiness through a pandemic, because my happiness isn’t based on the condition of there being no pandemic. In his classic book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

I don my glam, rose-tinted glasses with gusto.

Keeping my thoughts and feelings elevated attracts great things to me. I know this. I’ve lived it, and I see it happen all the time.

Sometimes it’s uncanny. Almost like magic. But I’ve come to expect it, and it continues to deliver. Thank you, Universe!

So when life nudged me out of a full-time life in Italy, I felt deep in my soul that bigger things are on the horizon, and it’s simply necessary for us to be in the United States for these next steps in our life. So I’m friggin’ stoked!

Doors of opportunity are all around me.

Life’s Twisty Turns

My favorite part of roller coaster rides was always the sharp turns, banks, and loops. Life will always have unexpected twists and turns. And if you can be open to those, hang on tight, always with an eye toward the Big Picture, and not let it effect your happiness, then life will be much more rewarding, and you’ll have way more happiness.

It’s all about expectations, really. And not being too attached to them.

And that mental flexibility will help you reach your dreams, making the whole journey feel like a brilliant, sparkly, magic carpet ride.

It’s a much more enjoyable way to live when working toward your goals. That’s Happy Sexy Millionaire living!

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My Italian Friends Teach Me So Much – Torta della Nonna

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Torta della Nonna

A Torta della Nonna Story

My new and dear friends, here in Italy, treated my family to this cake, Torta della Nonna.

Ellen and Arrigo are a couple here in town and engaged to be married this summer. She has dual citizenship, like me, but has been in Italy much longer. Arrigo is her Italian fiancé, and they are the cutest couple, always holding hands, snuggling, and teasing each other. I can’t help but smile every time I’m around them.

I met Ellen when she contacted me via Instagram, back in the fall, after seeing my family’s interview on CNN about moving to Italy. I knew after our initial chats via WhatsApp that we’d be lifelong friends.

(BTW: If you’re planning a trip to Italy, I can’t recommend enough that you check out their gorgeous website for the most beautiful accommodations.) 

Now, the story of the day is that my new friends were helping me this week with Italian paperwork down in town. We donned our masks and winter coats, and we piled into their car for the short drive. (Navigating government things like taxes, utilities, or health cards in a foreign language can be hard so I was beyond grateful for their help.)

Naturally, I wanted to thank them by buying them lunch or a coffee or something! 

How great was it that Arrigo had the idea that we stop by the bakery on our way home. I thought, “Perfect! I’ll buy them a cake!”

But what do you know? They won’t let me! They buy ME the cake!

Wait! What?! I’m supposed to pay!

But you know what? I chuckle, smile, and shake my head, because life isn’t always a balance sheet. Something I’m learning living here among such wonderful people in this beautiful culture of Italian hospitality and kindness.

To my new friends… I toast to you!

Ellen and Arrigo, your warmth and generosity make me want to cry. I’m so blessed to have such amazing people in my life. 

So… the amazing cake they bought us… Torta della Nonna.

From Great Italian Chefs website comes this, “A classic, Tuscan-born tart, Torta della Nonna has to be one of the most widespread and well-known Italian desserts. Its success likely lies in its simplicity: it consists of nothing more than two sheets of slightly leavened sugar pastry enclosing a creamy heart of lemon-scented custard. The top is studded with crunchy pine nuts and dusted with icing sugar, and no variants on this theme have ever gained much momentum.”

I originally shared this post on my Instagram page where Ellen commented, “Arrigo would kill me if I didn’t mention – it’s origins are Central Italy, including Umbria! Those Tuscans, they like to claim everything!!!😂❤️”

This cake, tart, custard concoction is worth the trip to Italy, and, yes, of course, it’s better here, especially when it’s sourced from a tiny bakery in a tiny town.

I love Torta della Nonna…

…because it’s only slightly sweet (which means I eat three slices at a time – in fact, that night’s dinner was a big bowl of ground beef, carnivore style, and a lot of Torta della Nonna, Italian style).

Can you blame me?

It’s hard to eat just one slice with its delectable, cool and creamy-custardy filling, a cookie-like crust around the edge, and leavened pastry… giving you the blissful experience of a bite to please your whole mouth. Your body. Heck, your soul. When I had mine, I asked my family not to talk to me while I ate my piece(s); I wanted total silence, no interruptions, as I cherished each bite, fully present. Italy does that.

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Mascarpone in Italy – Not Cheese to Me

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Cheese?

Experimenting with mascarpone

(There’s an update to this post at the bottom.)

In Italy you’ll always see mascarpone available in the refrigerated section near dairy.

I never really knew what this was used for until recently. My curiosity was perked.

Prior to buying it, a Google search told me that it was like cream cheese, and I thought “Oh OK! Yum. I’ll try that! I like cream cheese.”

But when I came home with it and tried it… cream cheese… it didn’t taste like cream cheese at all.

It doesn’t have the tang that cream cheese has. Or the heft.

Lost in Translation

Well, maybe they meant a creamy-type cheese–and not the cream cheese lyou put on bagels. I don’t recall now, but I’ll admit maybe it’s my error in that respect. But still… it does not resemble cheese to me, of any kind.

So I did more research and learned that it’s also considered like triple cream. Oh, this is more like it. If I had never spent time in the UK I might not even know what that meant.

Because in the UK you can buy “double cream” which is a most ultra heavy cream. It pours out of the container slow, almost like molasses. Almost.

Mascarpone, in this light, makes more sense to me.

Yes. It’s like super thick, like spreadable cream. Heftier than even double cream, as the description of triple-cream implies. It comes in a tub, mascarpone, like a step shy of butter.

I learned that you can put it on vegetables and bake with it, add it to soups, make desserts– all kinds of things.

Basically, it adds delectable creaminess to your recipe.

So, of course, I tried it in my coffee. It works! Just like cream or butter, though I had to whisk it, as if it were butter.

But look at that frothiness!

Coffee with mascarpone

After that, I added mascarpone to soup. Nice.

Some people say it’s divine with honey drizzled over it. I can see that.

Another day, I made tuna salad with it, like a mayo replacement. It was perfect for that!

So there you go. Mascarpone.

Update: So today I’m on a walk with my Italian girlfriend. She mentions that she saw this blog post of mine and says, “Kristen… mascarpone is for tiramisu. You know tiramisu?”

I facepalmed myself. OMG. Duh. Yes. One of my favorite desserts which I haven’t had in far too long.

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My Winter in Italy

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Central Italy Winter Day – in the clouds

Although there are many things I like about winter, in my late 20s, I moved to Arizona for a reason: better weather. Prior to that, my knowledge of winter came from living in Michigan.

My Michigan winters, as an adult, were gray and cloudy and quite slushy. Dirty slush, from the cars. My childhood winters were more white, crisp and clean. Either way, they were always cold, and I hadn’t yet understood the beautiful notion that it’s only cold if you’re not properly attired.

So I moved to Arizona, and the next fifteen winters were glorious. Filled with sunshine and just enough coldness for jeans and sweaters. Even a coat at night. 

But the funny thing is, my Arizona winters didn’t feel like winter. Either because I’d grown up with a different kind of winter in Michigan, or perhaps because movies always depict winters that are completely unlike those in Arizona. So while I liked the winters in Arizona—loved them!—because they were sunny and never too cold, they just didn’t feel like winter to me.

Some people say Arizona has two seasons: hot and very hot. It’s funny, and it’s partly true, but not entirely. 

Nonetheless, the description has merit, and so it is with that idea that I write about my winter in Italy.

The Mediterranean Winter

We spent our first Italian winter in 2019/2020. Part of which was in northern Italy, where we were dumped on with snow the day we left the region! Not entirely common in our town, despite its northern location. 

We spent the other part of that winter in the southernmost part of Italy (the heel of the “boot”), the beautiful region of Puglia. 

So, in a single season, we experienced both the northern and southern versions of Italian winter. But we weren’t in either location for long, or live in our own home, and so the experience lacked a certain authenticity. Staying in an AirBnB affects your mindset. Your brain never really leaves vacation mode, and everything has an extra rosy cast to it.

And at the very beginning of February 2020, we went to Arizona to visit family for a month (which turned into six, courtesy of COVID). So our winter in Italy wasn’t even an entire winter.

This winter, everything is different.

Today, I write about my experience living in central Italy during the winter. This time, we actually have a proper home, an apartment in a 700-year-old building, in a medieval hilltop town. We have been here since August, and we will be here through the entire Winter. Many, in fact. 

I’m happy to say, if a bit surprised, that winter in central Italy has caused me to upgrade my estimation of winter. It’s now possibly my second favorite season! (Behind spring.)

We don’t have snow here, at least not yet. And if it does snow, the locals say it’s short-lived. But right now, the lows at night are in the mid 30s, and the daytime highs are in the upper 40s. Sufficiently cold to feel like a real winter.

(I have an amazing coat that keeps me warm and toasty when I’m outside, and rain boots when it rains. These contribute massively to my enjoyment. As the saying goes, “there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.”)

So my winter here is wonderful. 

We even have a lot of gray and rain, which lends an air of mystery to everything. An atmosphere. Yellow lamplight cuts through the thick fog in narrow, cobblestone alleys. The gray misty mornings are some of my favorite! I rush to put on my coat to experience it fully outside. And there’s the most beautiful walk around the town, like walking along the edge of a cliff, in the clouds. Or on some days, above them.

My imagination runs wild in these moments.

That said, there are still plenty of sunshiny days. But frankly, with the pandemic, we spend most of our time at home anyway. 

The wintery atmosphere is the backdrop of my day. Each morning, I start by reading nonfiction books. I do my Coffee Self-Talk, and I tap into some Taoism (or something of the like: Untethered Soul, Outrageous Openness). 

My morning corner.

This morning routine straightens my mindset and fills me with gratitude. And simple joy. I am so happy. In fact, last night, I went to sleep and couldn’t fall asleep because I was so excited about the following day. When nothing particularly different was expected to happen. I was just excited about another ordinary day!

The Heat in the Apartment

We haven’t used our heat in our apartment yet (in-floor heating), mainly because we don’t know how. There’s a thing with a lot of buttons on it. My landlord is a simple text message away; he lives above us and he’d be happy to come show us. But every day, we keep thinking it’s not so bad. The tile floor is frigid however, but we wear slippers, so that takes care of that.

My husband wears a scarf at all times. Even to bed. It adds to the Dickensian character of his piratey winter beard.

My daughter dances around barefoot all day in shorts and a T-shirt. Kids.

I’m somewhere in-between on the sensitivity to cold spectrum. I found the most amazing sweater in the Benetton store a couple weeks ago. Here in town. And when I put it on, I look like a bear. It’s fluffy (the fluff turning to scruff after multiple wearings) and black and rather shapeless. My husband calls it my “bear suit.” He rubs my belly when I wear it, and speaks of honey.

Warm bear suit

He’s not entirely wrong. Bears don’t actually sleep the whole time they hibernate. They just get cozy and snooze a lot. That’s me, minus the snoozing. Cozy.

My bear suit keeps me so warm. Almost too warm. But not quite. And so I’m grateful to have found this. Greg often wears a coat in the house with his scarf, but I don’t want that much bulk. It’d make it weird to type, with my arms sticking out stiffly at weird angles.

As I mentioned, our daughter wears a T-shirt, shorts, and no socks, and when I touch her feet, they feel cold, but she says she’s comfortable. So I get a kick out of the fact that it’s cold outside, winter, but we haven’t put on our heat yet. I assume this is possible due to the three-feet-thick stone walls of the apartment (that includes the interior walls, too). It’s more like a cave, constantly cool (including summer, when it’s in the 90s outside).

It’s never bone-chilling cold, and I think it makes me more sprightly, energized.

After my morning routine — in which I have my coffee and self-talk, and my reading, which lately includes some poetry and classics — my daughter gets up, and it’s time for breakfast.

Then, I either go on my walk around the base of the hill (where I’ve seen such magical things as hidden cave entrances, wild boars, and cinematic views of mist-filled valleys), or I settle into writing my own fiction books.

Or blogging, like today.

I also meditate often. And then the day just goes on. I spent a good portion of it reading fiction, which helps my writing process. I eat lunch, and I have a 1 PM espresso.

We do dinner later, and watch a show while eating. It might seem weird to people to watch TV while eating, but we spend all day together, talking and sharing, so it’s nice to take a break and watch a movie or laugh non-stop with an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

In the evening, we play ping-pong, or a game, or I just read more, and Kamea and Greg have Daddy-Daughter time.

Fairy tales and local wine

During the day, sometimes I have to go to the store. I like to go between 1-4 PM, when it’s empty. Everybody else is at home resting for lunch or taking a nap. My butcher also closes shop during the afternoon. So I usually visit him after his lunch break when there aren’t many people there.

We have cats that live on our rooftop and down in the courtyard. They’re part feral, part domesticated. Wildish. I sometimes toss sardines or meat from our balcony to the stairwell they like to hang out on. When I wear my furry bear sweater, I often wonder if they think I’m one of them. Or a bear. I could swear they look at me differently.

Last night, we wanted to go for a little celebration, and we went to the bar around the corner to have a spritz. It’s a small bar, called Blue Bar, and we love the owner. He’s French and speaks French, Italian, and English. He likes to play blues guitar for us. We have a coffee or drink every couple of weeks, just a neighborly gesture really, during these hard times.

A spritz in Winter

Even though the temperature was in the 30s, we sat outside because there were people inside… with masks pulled down to eat and drink. We sat in our warm coats, bundled up together on a bench, and enjoyed our spritz, sans ice cubes. Kamea had a decaf cappuccino. And it was memorable. Probably more memorable because of sitting outdoors in the cold.

So that’s my winter in Italy right now, and that’s my routine.

I love it. 

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Coffee Self-Talk for the New Year and Happy New You

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Coffee Self-Talk for a New You!

New Year. New You.

Now, more than ever, is the time to improve your self-talk and live your best life.

In spite of COVID. In spite of anything in your life… Coffee Self-Talk can make you happier, more confident, and boost your self-esteem.

I am living proof. 

This past year, I have maintained my shine, I have accomplished amazing new goals (I became a romance author), and I have stayed happy despite the virus. Despite lockdowns. Despite politics. I have lived my most powerful and uplifted life in spite of all that. 

You will attract based on the energy you put out, so make that energy good. Using Coffee Self-Talk every day will do just that—fast track your goals and desires.  

What is Coffee Self-Talk?

Coffee Self-Talk is an easy, effective routine that takes only five minutes a day, and it will set your mind on an inspiring trajectory. A magic carpet ride of juicy living. 

It’s affirmations, and self-talk, and pumping yourself up… and coffee! (There’s a reason coffee is involved.)

Your daily Coffee Self-Talk advantage is powerful for spinning happiness into your life, while also bringing you closer to your goals, resolutions, and dream life. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever have challenges. Rather, it means you’ll rise above your challenges much easier and faster than you would’ve without Coffee Self-Talk. 

Great news! To celebrate the end of the year and the amazing New Year on the horizon, the ebook version of Coffee Self-Talk is on sale for a limited time.

Get your copy now on Amazon. 

New Year’s resolutions are a great time to start anew. Start living the dream life you deserve. Feel great about yourself. Wake up with purpose. Feel good about life.

It is possible!

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