
In this week’s Coffee Self-Talk podcast, I talk about a thing called: Mindset Intervention.
This thing, a mindset intervention, can put your life on a new trajectory in a single moment, like it did for me when I was in Italy.
(Brisa Starr)
In this week’s Coffee Self-Talk podcast, I talk about a thing called: Mindset Intervention.
This thing, a mindset intervention, can put your life on a new trajectory in a single moment, like it did for me when I was in Italy.
If you follow my blog, you know that the word, “millionaire” — as in, Happy Sexy Millionaire — has a special meaning to me. It’s partly about money, of course, but don’t get caught up on that… it means much more.
It doesn’t necessarily mean having a net worth in excess of one million dollars. It means something much broader. It means having the means to live the life of your dreams, whatever those dreams may be.
It could mean a million dollars, but not necessarily. It could mean much more… five million, ten million… or maybe just $50K. (But then, Happy Sexy Thousandaire doesn’t sound as good, eh?). The specific number is up to you, if you have a number in mind (for net worth, annual income, monthly income, whatever).
I do have my own number, for goal-setting purposes, but more importantly, for me, “millionaire” is like a code word. It’s shorthand for a whole cluster of associated ideas and emotions: abundance, generosity, success, lifestyle, travel, and so on. And one word in particular…
Freedom.
“Millionaire” is my label for the mental and emotional state I evoke when I want to feel empowered and free to do whatever I want to do in life. To go wherever I want to go, to be the sparkling, golden woman that I want to be… to attempt bold things, to dream big, to be a badass, and to generally live an epic life. It is this millionaire mindset that allowed me to, among other things, travel the world for a year. And then settle down in a picturesque, medieval hilltop village in Umbria, Italy — the kind of place you thought only exists in movies.
None of this actually required a million dollars… it only required that I think big, picture my millionaire lifestyle, and then plan accordingly. Step by step, it all just fell into place. Because, in my mind, it was not only possible — it was easy.
Once upon a time, I was a vegan. I died. The End.
Just kidding.
Yes, I was a vegan for ten years until it almost killed my family.
I’m being dramatic. Maybe.
In defense of my veganistic decisions, I thought I was doing the right thing (don’t we always?), and I learned a lot. Although I wish I hadn’t been vegan for ten years of my life, maybe two would’ve been fine, I’ve moved on.
It’s also why my story about eating a carnivore diet, in my book — The Carnivore Diet Handbook — is not preachy. Everyone does their own thing, me included. I learned my lesson from my vegan days. #neversaynever
But today, I’m bringing up my days as a vegan because, back in those wheatgrass-drinking days, I read a book that had a gem of an idea that I’ve carried with me, over a decade later. This strange and peculiar book — Survival in the 21st Century — was written by a truly enjoyable fella, Viktoras Kulvinskas.
Today, with my elk-heart-eating, carnivorous ways, I am far from a vegan. But something I read in that book has stuck with me for over 10 years. I remember reading it to Greg while we drove to Fort Bragg, CA, all hyped up on raw chocolate, to attend the raw vegan cooking school, Living Light.
When I finished the book, I cut out a little chart from it and taped it to my journal.
And over the years, as I went from journal to journal, I would tape it and re-tape into all of my journals. Until I internalized it, I guess, because I don’t have it anymore.
And while I won’t reconstruct the table for you (you can get the book if you want to see it), I’ll share the general idea.
It’s taking the words “I hope” and never using them again.
It’s replacing those words with the words “I prefer,” every time.
I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer.
I started doing this. I was baffled at the difference in my reaction to whatever it was that I was claiming to have previously hoped for.
You see, when you say I prefer, there is less attachment to it, yet more agency and personal power. It’s more uplifting in a weird way.
I was teaching this idea to my 10-year-old, and I asked her what she thought about it. She said, “Yeah, it sounds more educated.”
So there.
Try it for everything you want positive to happen in your life AND everything that you don’t want that could be negative.
When driving my car, instead of “I hope I make this light,” say “I prefer to make this light.”
Ahh, doesn’t make you feel like pink cotton candy?
There’s this feeling of untouchableness that accompanies the words, I prefer.
I hope to lose weight? No. Try… I prefer to lose weight. Nice.
I hope I don’t get sick? Nope. Try… I prefer not to get sick.
There’s just less stress behind the words, I prefer, than the words I hope.
So, those are my thoughts today. I prefer they’re as useful to you as they are to me. :O)
I am beyond excited and happy and doing cartwheels around the house.
I NEVER imagined I could write a fiction book, a novel… until now. I had the worst self-talk about writing stories, until one day, I switched it. I snuck in some lines of self-talk that I was a magnificent writer, a prolific writer, a creative genius.
And one day, back in March, I was sitting outside, and a story came to me. An idea! One that I thought could work.
And, here we are. My novel baby was born.
This is the cover to my first novel. I love love, and what better way to keep it infused all through my day than to write stories about it. :)
Now, I have to say that these are what would be classified as “steamy” romance novels. Meaning steam comes off your Kindle or from the book when you read it. Because it is hot!
Funny story… my mom is an excellent proofreader, and I always let her run a pass with my non-fiction books. When I was deciding to have my mom proofread my romance novel, I decided I’d take out the sex scenes. I mean, like, RIGHT?
They are graphic and, well, hot! I did say steam, right?
So I printed off the manuscript and gave her a copy of it, but I pulled out the sex scenes.
Now, I will tell you that my mom is quite liberal when it comes to that stuff, and we have a healthy relationship. We’ve always had the type of relationship that is not only mother-daughter, but also friends. And we make crass jokes with each other (heck, my whole family) all the time about topics like that.
That said, I still thought it would be weird to have her read sex scenes that I wrote. So I pulled them out.
When I handed her the manuscript, I let her know that there would be gaps.
Well, let me tell you. She was so mad. She said, “How am I supposed to give you an opinion on the book if I don’t read the whole thing.” She was offended and thought it wasn’t professional of me.
Long story short — she was really upset and convinced me that it would be perfectly fine for her to read those scenes.
I went to the trash and pulled the pages out (they were torn in half). I taped them together and reinserted them. At one point, she was laughing and breathing heavy because I’d misaligned one of the pages when I taped it back together, and she was like, “WAIT! I can’t read it, what is he doing to her?” ;)
The inspiration for Lockdown Love came from the world of Covid-19 self-isolation. And this book falls under the category of romance, with subcategories including medical romance, romance comedy, and contemporary romance.
So here is the cover and I absolutely love it!
You’ll see my pen name is Brisa Starr, and I’ve created a new Instagram account for people who’d like to follow this part of my life.
When the book is available on Amazon, I will let you know. (UPDATE: It’s now available! And the free promo starts Sunday!) It will be available for everybody who has Kindle Unlimited but it will also be available for free for five days as a promotion for Kindle starting Sunday, May 31!
YOU can help me launch my romance writing career. Yes, you. Here’s how!
If you like romance books, please download it when it’s available. Read it and if you like it, PLEASE WRITE A REVIEW. :) If steamy scenes are your thing, if you like love stories and happily ever afters, then I’d love for you to read my book. There’s explicit language, but if you’re a reader of my blog, then you know that’s not anything new!
If you’re more of a sweet romance person where everything happens behind closed doors then this book is not for you. Unless, of course, you’re interested in trying something new.
As an independent author, reviews are one of the most important things we can get to help our books get out in front of other people. So, if you download it, and read it, please leave a review even if it’s only only a short one.
And, for my future books, I’m looking for Advanced Readers. Please message me on Twitter or any of my Instagram accounts (or email me) and I’ll add you to my team of ARC (advanced review copy) readers.
Okay, I’m off to continue writing my third romance novel. (Romance novel number two should be available by June 15, too!)
I thought I would write a quick update on what’s going on in my life.
As you know I attempted my first novel in April and I finished it. I also started a second novel and finished it. And I am now starting my third.
I have found a true passion. As I mentioned before, in this piece, I never thought I could be a fiction writer. But I completely change my mindset and filled my head with the right affirmations and self-talk, and here I am banging out novels.
And, I absolutely love it. There isn’t anything I’d rather be doing. And I don’t just mean for work. Every chance I get, I want to sit at my computer and write, or walk and dictate. That’s what I’m doing with pretty much all of my time the past couple months. :)
I think my first romance novel will be available in the next couple days! My novels will be written under a pseudo name, and the cover for the first book will be ready to show you, maybe later today! Stay tuned.
ALSO! When I release my books, I will make them free for five days in the Kindle store so that all of my readers can get them.
Of course I still follow my Happy Sexy Millionaire formula! There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t do my Morning Mirror Magic or my Manifesting Meditations! Those are the first things I do every morning BEFORE I sit down to write.
They give me confidence, calm, and inspiration. Plus it makes me happy!
Before we came back to America for a visit in February, we signed a long-term lease on an apartment in one of our favorite spots in Italy.
As you know, we have been staying in Arizona until travel becomes safe and we can get back to Italy. As of now, although we’re still watching it on a weekly basis, there is a good chance we can return in June. Italy lifted its lockdown last week. My goal is to wait and see how those first couple weeks in June go and if all goes well, we will go back to our home there.
Stay healthy and happy!
I set the goal to write the first draft of my first novel, 50,000 words, in the 30 days of April. Yesterday, I finished. I ended up at over 60,000 words. Over a week ahead of schedule.
I was doing cartwheels in my mind when I typed “The End.” But there’s also a part of me that knew this day would come, with absolute certainty. Because I told myself it would, and I believed it. So when the day arrived, it was more like I’d just done the work, as opposed to accomplishing something that I might have failed at.
My self-talk powered every day of my writing!
I woke up excited every morning and ready to dive into my story, kicking ass, smoke coming out of my keyboard. And let me clear… it’s not like I have a background in writing fiction. Far from it. I used to think I didn’t have any stories in me. Heck, I always pushed Kamea’s bedtime stories onto Greg.
I will say that I also powered my writing project with coffee.
LOTS of coffee.
And my coffee was in my special good luck mug. My new talisman.
Truthfully, I like coffee so much that I can drink it pretty much in any style (even the instant sh*t), in any drinking vessel, in any temperature (including coffee that’s been sitting there for hours). Because, to me, any coffee is better than no coffee.
But also, I know how epic coffee can be when done right.
The right beans… the perfect grind… the accurate water temperature.
And? The right fucking cup.
A good cup can make the difference between good coffee and EPIC coffee.
With my new mission to write a book in a month, I really wanted to treat myself to something wonderful. I knew that having the perfect cup filled with coffee and tea all day would make me smile with each sip as the caffeine fueled my words and flow.
After quite a search, I finally found the perfect cup. Like I said earlier, it’s my talisman. For writing.
You see, coffee drunk from fine bone china has the best flavor. The thickness of the rim (or more specifically, the perfect thinness), the fine china itself… these things allow for the best flavor on your taste buds and aroma in your nose.
But when I went on a hunt for a coffee cup made from fine bone china, I wasn’t sure I’d find anything. Most of them are teacups. Small handles and small capacity.
But one day during my search, the the dark clouds parted, angels sang down, and I found the most glorious cup.
Why was it perfect? For starters, it was fine bone china. From England. Second, it was BIG! Like 16 ounces big! Third, the handle was proportionately larger as well. I dislike those dinky handles that make it hard to hold the cup.
Last, and definitely not least, it was both beautiful and super cute. Sophisticated and playful. Instead of the typical flowers or hummingbirds, my future bad-ass talisman had books on it. Yes. Books. Perfect for inspiring my writing.
It all looked good on paper (well, on screen). But I wanted to dig deeper before dropping $40. Like, was this quality china? Is it legit and from England? I scoured the reviews and details. Everything checked out. My heart started going pitter-patter.
$40-some bucks though. Hmmm.
One last check — I jump to the company’s website. At first glance, I’m feeling good. Looks profesh and all that. The cups are indeed fine bone china from England.
I type “books” in the search bar, looking for that specific cup.
There she was.
Looking purrrtty as ever. I’m pretty sure I even heard her whisper my name.
And then I saw the description, and it was all it took to make me pull the trigger no matter the price. It described it as a cup for “the aspiring author.”
I went back to Amazon, and bought that beauty.
Though, I did a little something extra special. I added a gift receipt.
To my self.
And here I am, sipping my coffee, doing my daily coffee self-talk with her, and writing novels.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. BOOYAH!
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